Many people turn their reviews into interrogations — repeatedly asking "why did they do that," "what was she really thinking," "was that my fault or hers." This kind of review isn't just useless — it traps you in a stagnant pool called rumination.
Probing for the other person's motives, you'll never reach a definite answer — unless you call them up and they're willing to tell you honestly. In most cases, you neither can nor will ask. So your "why" loop is really you filling the blank with stories you make up. And those stories are almost always the ones most harmful to you.
The truly useful question isn't "why did they" — it's "what did I learn." Instead of "why didn't he text me back," try "through this experience, I discovered that I'm highly sensitive to being ignored, and next time I can express that need earlier." The second version doesn't depend on the other person's answer. It's entirely within your control.
As you move from "why" to "what I learned," you'll encounter strong emotions. Sadness. Anger. Injustice. These aren't problems to eliminate. They're data. Your sadness indicates a boundary was touched. Your anger suggests a value was ignored. Emotions are guides, not obstacles.
A review isn't a trial of a relationship. It's an inventory of what you're taking with you. And what you learn — regardless of how the relationship ended — is yours forever. No one can take it away.