The weeks after a breakup are the most chaotic. Sadness, anger, nostalgia, and regret take turns attacking, each one telling you a different version of the truth. What you need isn't a single answer — it's a framework. A way to organize the chaos into something you can actually use.
Don't rush to analyze right after the breakup. Your analysis will be saturated with emotional bias: either everything was your fault, or everything was theirs. Give yourself a week. Let the strongest emotional waves pass. When you return, many things that felt catastrophic will have shrunk to their actual size.
Don't try to summarize "was this relationship good or bad." Focus on specific events. What happened during your worst fight? When was the first time something felt off? Which things did you think would improve but never did? Decompose into events, and treat each one with the facts-interpretations-conclusions method.
This is the most valuable part of a review. Look across all your relationships — not just the one that ended. Are there repeating patterns? Do you always invest more after a first rejection? Do you habitually make excuses for the other person? Do you avoid direct communication? These patterns don't belong to any single relationship. They belong to you.
At the end of your review, write one paragraph: What did I learn about myself through this relationship? This isn't forced positivity or a search for silver linings in pain. It's a map you're drawing for yourself. In your next relationship, you can walk a little more clearly than you did this time.